‘Lilly’ Is a Movie for Our Mothers: Complicated, Devoted, Fearless | Guest Column

Mother’s Day is a complicated holiday for me. It’s the day my mother died 11 years ago. It’s also the weekend that “Lilly,” the first feature film I’ve written and directed, will be released in theaters across the county. Filled with these dichotomous emotions, I find a meaningful thread of resilience woven between them, one that has shaped my own life and is at the heart of the story of the film.

“Lilly,” starring Patricia Clarkson, is based on the life of Lilly Ledbetter, a woman known for the extraordinary achievement of becoming the voice of fair pay, of having President Obama honor her struggle by naming his first piece of legislation after her. She was a woman who dedicated her life to making the world a better place for the rest of us. She was also a mother and grandmother – and the daughter of a complicated mother. 

Lilly Ledbetter was born in 1938, in Jim Crowe Alabama, on a dirt farm with no electricity or running water. She was an only child who grew up in poverty, picking cotton at the age of eight for pennies a bag. When I look at Dorothea Lange dustbowl images of hollowed-out mothers, I imagine Lilly’s mother Edna, not surprised that she couldn’t rise above her own difficulties to speak of love to her only child.

I’m also a mother and grandmother whose progeny are the center of my joy. And a daughter born to a challenging mother. Though my mother may be gone, she will forever be the most impactful character in my life. 

My mother, Dorothy, was born in 1923, in Brooklyn, the fourth child born to Russian immigrants. At the age of six, she was molested in the stairwell of her tenement building that she said smelled of cabbage. Much later I learned that childhood trauma such as hers can lead to various personality disorders. My grandparents arrived with little more than their strong beliefs in human rights. Before they mastered the language of this land, they were knee deep in the labor movement. When my mother died, although she no longer knew her children, she had total recall of lyrics that directed marchers to her childhood labor rallies, the social media of her day.

I was adored, but she was mercurial, injured easily, with a wrath that long held grudges. My relationship with her was undeniably complex, shaping me in ways both profound and painful. Yet, above all, it strengthened me. Without this journey of self-realization, I may not have had the stamina to power through the challenges of making this independent film. This is the “Russian dolls” of it all, each generation of mothers doing their best to nurture the next, always aspiring for more.

“Lilly” was produced by a spectacular group of women colleagues, each of us shaped by complex, strong mothers. Producer Simone Pero’s mother Mary Ann, “was a never-married-by-choice single-mother, at a time when that was largely considered radical, the sole breadwinner, housekeeper, chef, plumber, contractor, gardener, fashionista, decorator, student and landlord … She was the epitome of ‘getting s–t done,’ no matter the odds.” 

Producer Jyoti Sarda was profoundly shaped by her mother, Raju, who traveled halfway around the world at the age of 21 to marry a man she had only briefly met before, and despite a high level of education, experienced discrimination as both a woman and an immigrant. “My mother was never given the opportunities she merited, but she crafted her own success, and that self-reliance has been a touchstone for me,” Sarda said.

“There were times when I called my mother Joan, General Patton,” writes producer Allyn Stewart. “I am positive she could have taken the beaches of Normandy. She gave birth to four girls and raised us with a fierce sense of purpose, teaching us to be self-reliant, disciplined … and most importantly, to cook. My mother’s legacy lives on not just in the dishes we prepare but in the way we approach life: with courage, perseverance and a table always big enough to welcome one more guest.”

Vickie Saxon Ledbetter, daughter to Lilly, has said that her mother had “high standards.” Lilly was the first one in and the last one out of that factory every day because she wanted to raise her kids to have a middle-class life – with a car, a nice house and a college education. Movies about remarkable people often focus on their achievement, but I wanted to explore the personal cost of courage. What was it like to be the only woman working in a factory rife with unchecked sexual harassment and demeaning employment policies for two decades? How do you hold your head up high when the other congregants of your church see you as a pariah because they still work for the company you’re suing? What gave Lilly Ledbetter the strength of character to be willing to put a target on her back, to be the literal face of an issue? 

One of the primary reasons our own lead actor took the role of playing Lilly Ledbetter was her mother. We all know Patricia Clarkson as the glorious, Academy Award-nominated actor, but Patti is also the daughter of Jackie Clarkson, an indefatigable public servant and longtime New Orleans City Council leader who also had a highly successful real estate career and raised five daughters. Patti says that her mother wept when she told her she’d be playing Lilly Ledbetter.

I so wish Lilly were with us as we launch this film into the world. She was extremely moved to know that her legacy would live on, but also, as a ballroom dancer who enjoyed the spotlight from time to time, I know how much it would have meant to that little girl from Possum Trot, Alabama, to see the world be inspired by her story and that her legacy would live on. I can also imagine what it would have meant to Patti’s mother seeing her daughter deliver this gorgeous, bravura performance. And I can envision my movie-loving mama, sitting in a dark room with strangers, eating a sandwich wrapped in foil, watching a movie directed by her baby. 

I miss you, Mom.

As a mother and a daughter, I know that motherhood is never simple. It’s a layered story of beauty and struggle, we learn every day, we aspire to do better. I hope that this Mother’s Day, “Lilly” might inspire you to reflect on your own mothers and the legacies we carry forward. It’s our responsibility to continue the work of those who came before us, not just to make the world better for our own children, but for all children under the sun – just as Lilly Ledbetter did.

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