‘A Minecraft Movie’ Review: Jack Black-Led Video Game Adaptation Offers No Surprises

When Jack Black’s character enthuses, “First we mine! Then we craft! Let’s Minecraft!,” you are either pumping your imaginary pickaxe in the air or you are unmoving, blank-faced, in your chair. 

The makers of the video game-based “A Minecraft Movie” know their built-in audience and ruthlessly target them with fan service and slapstick galore. For the rest of us, it’s a by-the-numbers Hero’s Journey amid colorful digital backgrounds. 

Henry (Sebastian Hansen) is a creative kid new to a small Idaho town with his sister/guardian Natalie (Emma Myers). He falls in with Garrett (Jason Momoa), a spud stud in ‘80s music-video attire stuck on his decades-past glory as a video game champion. A magic item takes them to the “Overworld,” where pretty much anything can be constructed by mining materials and crafting them – though into shapes visibly composed of cubes. Natalie and real estate agent Dawn (Danielle Brooks) tag alone for the ride and they all meet veteran builder Steve (Jack Black) and his excellent, cube-ish wolf, Dennis. They mix it up with many monsters and the malevolent Malgosha (voiced by Rachel House), who must have that magic item.

One does not have to be a “Minecraft” enthusiast to get the gist; the quest comedy widget is constructed as a beginner’s guide to the game’s world and basic play. Building stuff is central, though the designs don’t exactly strain the limits of imagination. Sadly, there is no Overworld Picasso (Pickaxo?) to lend Cubism to their cube-ism.

But that is part of the calculus. Shocks and surprises would work against “A Minecraft Movie’s” goals. It’s resolutely aimed at young kids and fans of the video game – not a bad bet, considering “Minecraft” has sold more than 300 million units since its 2009 release. Indeed, the Jared Hess-directed fantasy is the year’s biggest advance ticket-seller so far (among PG titles), according to Fandango. 

Some charming nuggets are unearthed, such as a “signature scent” cologne, Velvet Mischief, all the way from exotic Boise, and school vice principal Jennifer Coolidge’s burgeoning romance with an Overworld refugee (thumbs up for that voice-cameo casting). The small-town sequences are infused with low-key, awkward warmth akin to signature scenes from Hess’ “Napoleon Dynamite,” though you would think they would have mined humor from Idaho being the Gem State.

But once we are in the Overworld, the warm charm taps out in favor of CGI chases and fights that seem contractual obligations with this budget and target audience. In a cinematic era of virtual environments, “Minecraft’s” cast seems unusually un-rooted in theirs. There’s nothing wrong with the look; the VFX are fine. But the humans don’t really feel as if they’re in those environs, or that they are seeing what they are supposed to see. It’s a little odd. They probably should have cast more responsive tennis balls against which to act.

Still, the game, goofy Momoa acquits himself well as (in “Dynamite” terms) an Uncle Rico-ish loser, but an enthusiastic one. In all-too limited appearances, Coolidge and Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement shine, as one would expect. One wishes we got more than the lone, brief moment of Coolidge and Momoa together – that’s an untapped mother lode. Hansen and Myers are just fine. The talented Brooks (the shining light of “The Color Purple”) feels wasted in an underdeveloped role. 

Black, however, is tuned to an exhausting pitch throughout. He is likely directed to do so, but he indulges in shameless mugging and delivers most lines with! Exclamation! Points! Sometimes! Multiple!!! The size of his performance feels out of phase at times with the other humans.

The most fondly remembered character will likely be Dennis the wolf cub(e).

There are six credited writers, which likely contributes to the patched-together, prerequisite-filling vibe. The dialogue is functional, exposition unabashed. But does it matter? I conducted a mini-focus group of my kids’ teen friends, asking what they wanted from the movie, and they will be happy to know it delivers the specific materials they wanted to see used for crafting, the dark region known as The Nether, the zombie-plantlike monsters called Creepers and a little weirdo known as a Chicken Jockey. They were excited in advance about certain YouTubers having cameos, and that Coolidge would be in it. Her awesomeness spans generations.

However, they also said they were wary of Black “being one-dimensional” and the movie “treating the audience like it’s stupid,” and wanted “an actually interesting plotline instead of a ‘Jumanji’-esque kind of thing.” Whether the movie satisfied those demands will be up to them, but they may find it didn’t pan out. (No Herobrine either, fellow enthusiasts, sorry.)

The most accurate summation of “A Minecraft Movie” is probably “It is what it is.” It’s what it’s supposed to be. It probably won’t dig up many new converts to the game, but should strike box-office silver, at least. (And fans, be sure to stick around for two credits scenes – especially the second one.)

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