My Biggest Design Splurge That Ended Up A Total Shameful Horror Story (11 Years Later)

So here’s a sad, shameful story that I think I never told you (due to the sad and shameful nature of it). It’s about that ficus tree, the beloved, magazine-friendly ficus tree. I wanted that tree so badly for the Glendale living room for reasons you can see – it was INCREDIBLE and the room really benefited from its beautiful sculptural shape. But I was an irresponsible plant lover, careless and reckless, and ultimately almost killed her dead. But not before it tortured me for years (as it should – it was a very toxic relationship). Now that I think of it, it was a terrible relationship, but as the person in power, I take full responsibility for this one. So here’s what happened…

In 2014, I bought the tree from Mickey Hargitay Plants in LA – a pretty famous exotic indoor plant store. I honestly don’t remember how much it was – but $1,200 is coming to mind (it could have been more, unfortunately). I’m sure I also had to pay for delivery and the pot, so I’m probably now in at least $1600. The details are all murky because it was so long ago, or perhaps because I repressed it all. All I know is that we were scheduled to shoot the house for a magazine, and I felt that I NEEDED that plant to bring so much life, color, and visual interest to the room. It should also be said that I loved it, but if I didn’t have to publicly show-and-tell my life to an audience, I likely wouldn’t have spent that then (we didn’t have that kind of extra budget at the time). I brought it home and it was instantly incredible. Until…

About a year in (or so, no idea), it started losing some leaves and looking sad. This is likely due to my neglect, but could also have been because this plant didn’t want to be inside, or perhaps was too warm in the summer (our living room got so hot in the summer due to huge west-facing windows and no insulation). Regardless, it was sad and I didn’t know what to do. I googled, called plant people, and even had someone come and look at it when they pointed out to me that it had aphids.

Aphids definitely sounded gross to me, and I still don’t fully grasp what they are, but the symptom was tiny black things on the leaves. I’m pretty sure we tried to treat it with something, and then of course I learned how to properly water it on the cadence that it wanted (which sadly I don’t remember now). But then it got worse…

SAP SO MUCH SAP…

What you can’t see is the sap that was dropping from all of the sick leaves, all over the furniture and floor. The sap ruined everything underneath it (which is why I didn’t have that rug anymore). Charlie couldn’t crawl around there, and when Elliot was born, we had to avoid it. We would clean it and clean it and scrub, but we couldn’t keep up with it. It just became the corner that no one could go near, and I had to steer guests to sit elsewhere. I’m pretty sure we had to refinish the floors before we sold (or maybe not, maybe we just almost did).

I felt so dumb and stupid. It was all my fault, but I didn’t know how to fix it (I even tried to be really kind to it), but I started really resenting it (pretty sure this is a toxic relationship analogy). I wanted it better or gone, but being faced with my own shame/mistake/splurge all day made me so mad at myself and it.

Here you can see it looking sad (and this was before it lost even more leaves). By the end, when we had to move, I believe I actually paid someone to take it away – no one wanted it even for free. That was until I asked Tessa Neustadt (my friend and photographer at the time) if she would take it (if she didn’t have to move it herself), and I believe she planted it in her yard. I have no idea how it’s doing, but I’m going to tell myself that it’s thriving now and so happy to be away from me and in the earth.

So What Did I Learn?

I didn’t deserve to just buy something willy-nilly without understanding how to care for it. This kept me from buying and keeping houseplants for years (I would buy for shoots, then give them immediately away to my team).

I can be really hasty when it comes to emotional design elements, not really thinking through the consequences (this is not the last time I’ll also make this mistake.

Exotic plants are a huge investment and you should find out before taking them home what type of environment they need. I can’t speak to what this needed, I don’t remember, but I really don’t think I did my due diligence thinking it would “be fine!” which is typical for me and one of my worst personality traits.

Why Am I Telling You This?

I stumbled on these old photos recently and was blown over with both nostalgia for that house (and the tree, and the toddler kissing my tummy) and shame of what I had done. I figured I’d share to remind you that things aren’t always what they look like in pretty houses on the internet, and so many mistakes are being made behind the scenes. Hoping to not get cancelled because of this, but perhaps the statute of limitations will protect me since it’s been 11 years Read More